The scientist's heart
by Ejes
Summary: [POST KH3 CONTENT] When Vexen doesn't want to be Vexen anymore, when he rejects these eyes and ears and name, he knows what the only way to get his heart back is. But being aware that this might fail, and he might disappear for good, isn't quite helping.


_**My, my, it's been a little while! (at least I think so, I have a very bad memory). Today, we are going to explore something that should happen soon after KH3 (although Nomura is full of surprise), and by doing so we will have to take a look at things that happened aaaaall the way back in Chain of Memories!**_

_**Please enjoy!**_

* * *

"Will it hurt?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Hey, you could at least try to lie about it! Pretend I won't feel a thing!"

"But I don't know about this. It might hurt."

This scene was taking place in the labs of Radiant Garden. Roxas was sitting on a chair so high his feet weren't even touching the floor, and he was swinging his legs, staring at Vexen with a deadpan expression. Lea, leaning against the wall behind his friend, smirked.

"We can always do it the old way, Vexen. Just a little _snap_, and-"

He had just pretended to snap his fingers, but stopped when he realised Vexen had taken a step back, looking truly terrified. And expression Roxas didn't miss either. The boy frowned, looking at Lea.

"What's that about? What do you call the old way?"

The former number eight lowered his head. It wasn't the side of him he was the proudest of. Rather, he felt ashamed that he still felt nothing about this - but he didn't want Roxas to look at him like a monster either. To this day, Roxas, Xion, and everyone else believed that Sora (and Riku) were the ones who took down all the people at Castle Oblivion. They didn't need to know about Vexen. They didn't need to know about Zexion. They didn't need to know what Axel had done.

"Nothing of your concern, boy. Let's not dwell on the past." Lea felt like these words were directed right at him, even though the scientist was looking at Roxas. "We are not here to exchange heartfelt memories about our days wearing the coat. We are here so that I won't _have to_ wear that coat again."

"But I don't know how to… I never did it before. Sora would do a better job." Roxas shuddered, staring at his empty hand. "What if I can't… What if it doesn't work? I don't want to have this on my conscience."

_I wish _this _was on my conscience_, Lea thought bitterly. Vexen let out an exaggerated sigh.

"I am really glad that you worry my _death_ might weigh on your conscience, and that it's the only issue with you. You know how to reassure someone. Promise me one thing, Roxas: never become a doctor. Your patients would run away right away." The man massaged his temples. "And it's not really like we have many other choices. Sora might be a better choice, but he isn't here. And you, born from his heart, are the closest we have to him. So stop complaining and do your job, before I change my mind."

"Hey, you're the one who asked if it would hurt, even though that was _your_ idea. I'd say you're the one complaining, Vexen."

"Can't a man have a little apprehension, when faced with either salvation or death?"

Roxas's hand started shaking. He probably was even more scared than Vexen was. The man rolled his eyes, trying to remember how he dealt with Ienzo, all these years ago, when the boy was scared to do something. He put on a gentle smile on his face, which felt really foreign to him now. He put a hand on Roxas's shoulder. The teenager started, but didn't push him away. Vexen chuckled, another foreign sound. Did he really act that way with Ienzo? How could things have changed so much?

"Listen, Roxas. I really wish to have my heart back. I don't want to be Vexen anymore. I just want to be Even, to return to my usual self like everyone did. I don't want these ridiculous yellow eyes no one will look at. Or these absurd pointed ears everyone will glance at. I want people to stop wondering if I'm a friend or a foe. I accepted to lose my heart, to join the Dark once more, in order to be able to help the Light. But now that my job is done, I don't want to look into the mirror and see Xehanort. I just want to see round ears, green eyes, and a white coat. I will spare you the details, but Axel managed to bring me back to my somebody shape once, and he had no keyblade back then. If he could, then I know you can too. I just hope it will be… a bit less painful." He slid a nasty look at Lea, who avoided his gaze. Truth was, Vexen wasn't really angry at Lea. They all did unspeakable things, working for the Organization (save perhaps Demyx, who didn't do _any_thing at all), and they were all trying to make amends for that. Now wasn't the time for payback. It was the time to move on.

"Okay. I'll… I'll try. I'll do my best." Roxas jumped from his chair, summoning his keyblade. He tried to control the shaking of his hands. "I'm sorry if it hurts. I really am."

"Stop apologizing and stab me already," snapped Vexen, running out of patience. He put his arms to his side, standing straight and very still, his eyes closed. Roxas looked at him, and glanced at Lea, unsure. The redhead gave him an encouragement smiled, pointing with his finger on his chest where the heart was. Roxas nodded, taking a deep breathe in.

_Sora, if you can hear me somehow… Lend me your strength, and don't let me mess this up._

At first, he tried just tapping the tip of his keyblade on Vexen's chest. The man froze at the contact, but nothing happened.

"You need to strike him down, Roxas. There's no other choice. Nobody and Heartless need to be destroyed for the Somebody to come back."

_What if his Heartless still exists, though__?_ Roxas wondered. _What if he doesn't come back?_ But he kept his doubts to himself, worried the scientist would get really angry and yell at him. He took a step back, then, putting all of his strength into his move, he stabbed the man facing him. _Let this be quick._

Vexen fell to his knees, a smile on his face. A real smile, not a smirk like the ones he used to grant them, not a facade one like the one he had put on to reassure Roxas. A real, relieved one.

"Thank you, Roxas. You did well. It barely hurts at all."

They could all see in his eyes how much of a lie it was, as he vanished into a cloud of dark mist.

* * *

Everything felt brand new. The taste of the air as he breathed in. The smell of the fresh cleaned sheets he was sleeping on. The sound of voices in the corridor. The drumming in his chest.

He opened his eyes. His eyelids were heavy, but it didn't stop him ; nothing would. He twitched his fingers, his toes, testing his limbs and realising they responded with relief. He turned his head, looked left. Nothing, but a white wall. Turned on the other side, looked right. Now that was a ridiculous sight.

A dozen of colourful balloons were suspended. "Welcome back!", one even said. On the nightstand, there was a basket filled with fruits, a card drawn with crayons representing a man smiling brightly. He frowned - was that supposed to be him? Even as a Somebody, he never smiled that much. But he had to admit he was amused by the drawing. On the inside, there were dozens of notes, probably wishing him to get better or something. He would read them later, as the two things left on the stand caught his attention. One was a cup of coffee, still hot. He smiled at the cup. _Radiant Garden #1 Dad_. This cup was at least centuries old in his mind. And the coffee smelled delicious. The other object on the stand was a mirror. It was nothing fancy, nothing with intricate ornament, nothing pretty. But it wasn't the object that mattered, rather what he would see in it. He took the mirror to his face, finally staring at his reflection.

Turquoise eyes looked right back at him.

The face he was looking at was familiar, an old friend he had not seen in ages. The face in the reflection allowed a tear roll down its cheek, and he could feel the tickle of the drop on his own face. He smiled, and the face smiled back.

Even put the mirror down and quietly drank his coffee. He was finally home.

* * *

_**Let's be honest. Before KH3, I couldn't care less about Vexen. He could step on Legos or smash his pinky toe on a chair and I wouldn't bat an eye. But he was actually one of the greatest surprise of the game, even though I know some people don't think it fit well with his general character, I still think it was cool! Also, we could have a little pity for a man who got burnt alive for trying to tell Sora the truth. Yay for Vexen!**_


End file.
